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SEXPERT ADVISE by Arlen Keith Leight, Ph.D.

ARE YOU A SEX ADDICT?

Human behavior is very varied and quite complex. In our world of labels and categories an effort has been made to diagnose individuals who engage in frequent sexual thought or activity as “addicted”. As with any behavior, sex can be taken to its obsessive and compulsive extreme. The real danger here, however, is in overpathologizing and subsequently over simplifying sexual behavior and treatment plans for curtailing sexual behavior. Creating pathology is often driven by the anti-sexual attitudes of the society at-large and a lack of understanding about the wide range of normal human sexual expression.

Distress over frequency of sexual thought or behavior is frequently the result of internalizing the values and beliefs of others rather than true obsessive-compulsive pathology. Many clients come in to therapy because they are concerned about spending a couple of hours a day in chat rooms. Why is this behavior an addiction while watching 2 hours of a home shopping network each day is not? The cultural bias against sexual interest and activity is clear.

Many so-called sex addicts today are directed to 12-step programs similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. Sexual scientists understand that such programs, very useful for alcoholism and other chemical addictions, cannot be similarly applied because sexual expression is a biological need of life. Abstinence-only is an oversimplified solution for an oversimplified diagnosis.

All that being said, true compulsive sexual behavior (CSB) can be properly diagnosed and treated by well trained clinical sexologists. Biological, psychological, social and spiritual factors often combine to form the etiological basis of CSB. Diagnosing and treating CSB as an obsessive-compulsive disorder as opposed to an addiction is critical for successful results.

The clinical sexologist can help clients determine whether their sexual appetite is CSB or simply a variation of normal sexual expression. If you are struggling with this question OR if you find you are using sexual activity in response to stress, anxiety or depression OR if you are encountering serious life issues (i.e., problems with relationships, STD’s, drug abuse, sexual offenses, loss of job) as a result of sexual thought or activity it is time to seek professional help. It is important to find a psychotherapist or clinical sexologist who will not impose his or her values or the values of the culture on your behavior. It will take a non-judgmental, open-minded clinician to objectively assess the situation and, if necessary, help you move into a healthier way of enjoying the gift of your full sexual expression.

Dr. Leight is a licensed psychotherapist and certified clinical sexologist in private practice in Ft. Lauderdale , FL. www.DoctorLeight.com

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